Power Clean

My housemate bought this face cleaner, and while showering this morning I couldn't help but stare at the package and notice how the copywriter missed no opportunity to remind me of how manly the product is.

  1. "Men's Expert": this product has been approved by the technocratic authority.

  2. "ADS Active Defense System": acronyms are manly, like NASCAR or NBA. So are words like "active," "defense," (go D!) and "system".

  3. "Power Clean" is a weightlifting exercise.

  4. Shine? Too pretty. Smooth? Too metro. Ah, I got it: "Anti-dullness". Sounds vigilant.

  5. "Menthol": because mint is for Tic-Tacs and mojitos. Menthol sort of rhymes with ethanol, which is the active ingredient in Jack Daniels. And don't black dudes smoke Newports?

M.I.A. "Boyz"

New video for M.I.A. has hypercolor 80s-style computer animation and insane outfits; "also, we have dance moves for 8,000 years."

In other news, the London 2012 Olympics animated logo causes seizures and will be out of style by the year 2012.

Father's Day Found

In anticipation of Father's Day, here's a letter I found outside a mediocre Thai restaraurant on Venice Boulevard (a few doors down from the Jurassic Museum of Technology) in Culver City, California on May 12:

5/1/07 1:00 Pm

Hey M----- What's Up

I'm sittin in an Irish pub drinking a pint of beer and I want to write you this letter.

It's a little slow at work today and I wanted to write you a letter for a while now so I couldn't think of a better place.

Well it breaks my heart to see you locked up. I hope that you want to change and take control of your life soon.

In this letter I'm going to tell you the real fuck the candy-coated shit. It serves no one

I think you need to find out what you want to do for a job — career, and do it. Maybe you want to be a plumber learn how to do it and fuckin do it. Plumber is only an example. Maybe you want to paint or do stereos or carpet, or tint windows, anything, but you need to pick something and pick it quick and start making some money.

I wish I had your life if I could switch my life for yours I would of done it a long time ago. My point is You have a great opportunity and a great life ahead of you.

Sometimes I wish I would have joined the Marines or Army just for two years. See the world and have that discipline in my life.

Sometimes I think you should join the "Peace Corps" its a group that helps the poorest countries in the world they pay for everything if you give them time. I don't know if they pay you or not, but God sure does. You get to see the world and see how other people live.

When I was in Honduras people gave me attention just because I was American. I mean pretty woman. I said what the fuck am I getting married for. Just Kidding. I was just playind soccer in the street with the kids and aot of people came out of their houses and watched me. It was fun.

A--- & O--- are pretty good all they want to do is skateboard and thats fine with me because I like them being outside excercising, using creativity and hopefully building confidence. I know some of the guys their are up to shit. But I told A n O if I see or catch them smokin weed or cigarettes or beer I will beat their asses.

You are going to go through different points in your life you need to want to get to the next stage and be different than you are know.

I will always be your Dad but know its time for me to be your best friend. I want to see you do something in another country. I guarantee you will never regret it. Trust me and your life will change.

If you don't change and keep doing what your doing you will spend alot of time in jail or die.

My dream is to see you happy and a productive person in this world, and I want to see you travel the world.

I love you M-----. Ive got to run let me know if you want to change your life when your out.


Digging through old photos

This is my friend Kelly, 2003.

A wet T-shirt. I don't know why this picture came out green.
wet T-shirt

One more.

I used to take a lot more photos back when I was working at a photo lab. This weekend I've been uploading lots of my old scans to my Flickr page.

First post.

One of my new year's resolutions was to start a blog. Now that it is June, I have started a blog. One of my other new year's resolutions was to procrastinate less.