Power Clean

My housemate bought this face cleaner, and while showering this morning I couldn't help but stare at the package and notice how the copywriter missed no opportunity to remind me of how manly the product is.

1. "Men's Expert": this product has been approved by the technocratic authority.



2. "ADS Active Defense System": acronyms are manly, like NASCAR or NBA. So are words like "active," "defense," (go D!) and "system".



3. "Power Clean" is a weightlifting exercise.



4. Shine? Too pretty. Smooth? Too metro. Ah, I got it: "Anti-dullness". Sounds vigilant.



5. "Menthol": because mint is for Tic-Tacs and mojitos. Menthol sort of rhymes with ethanol, which is the active ingredient in Jack Daniels. And don't black dudes smoke Newports?